Pieces of the heart

Tired looking at those lecture notes which will only drive me crazy.

Too boring to play a games.

Can't squeeze the food into my stomach anymore. I'M FULL!!!!

I found a note book in my luggage with a title "Bible Study" (written by one of the Saposssss)

Awww, looking at those TERRIBLE handwriting. I don't know some of the words. The handwriting is really really bad! 

Before I found the note book, "You're in this world, but not of this world." came across my mind.

As usual, i love to think when i'm bored.

After becoming a Christian, my life has changed.

--> The way i look at a problem.

--> The opinion that in my mind.

--> The ability to see things from other's point of view. 

ETC, ETC, and ETC.

Friends around me were filtered as well. Friends in those days who were used to be with me are not with me anymore. Probably, God knows they are not suitable for me.

I love home more than before. 

Even though disappointment made me to have phobia (Phobia with expectation. Phobia with hope.)

But, somehow these phobia never cease me from having expectation and hope. There are still expectation, there are still hope. But not as much as before.

Recently, my mind was blocked.

Blocked by the thoughts of this world, and committed the sins which God command us not to do it.

Sometimes, God is an unknown to me. 

Voices from my soul and my mind overtook me.
I doubted God. How powerful is God? Is it the gift from God?
Again, I'm questioning God.
I wish to bang myself to the wall and fainted. Then, i won't be thinking so much.
God is so great, yet I'm so small to Him.

Along the way i became a Christian, my family was against me at the beginning especially my parents and my elder sister. They tried to stop me from going to church. Told me don't drown into it.
They scared I made my decision in a rush without thinking about it.
I doubted myself as well. I was not sure whether i'm in the right path or not.
and now I would like to DECLARE that I'M IN THE RIGHT PATH with JESUS CHRIST.
My family doesn't go against me anymore, and they are willing listen to me when I talked about Jesus and God.
Sometimes, they will come out with questions and doubts which I don't know how to answer.
I'm happy with it. I'm proud that I'm determined enough to go through those circumstances in the past one year. And I know that there will be a bigger challenge in the future.

Water baptism is the one which I'm looking forward. By faith, I think i can go through this one day.