"PAUSE"

working VS studying

i finished my study on 2016 

i start working on 2017

stepping into adulthood made me realized that i have to be responsible to my life, and i'm no longer a little girl.

well, i wished to start my working life as soon as possible when i finished my study. 

there's a mindset of mine :

working = money,

then,

money = freedom ;

the most important point which i missed out was : be responsible to my life

soon, my wish granted on January 2017.

here come my freedom which i eagerly hope for.

as i starts working, i realized that working is not as fun as i thought and i did not get the freedom which i was hoping for.

day by day, month by month, i started asking myself, "what am i working for?" and no one could ever give me an answer.

I AM LOST!

i found my life has no meaning with the routine. 

i started doubting God.

"why are You putting me in Penang and i did not even know the reason why i am here?"

As a Christian, I truly believe that God wants us to do something for Him. So, I always want to do great things which amazed people and to be known by others. Then, I asked God, "what is the great work that You want me to do for You? I am ready for You." and yet God never answer me.

PAUSE button was pushed in my life. 

no growth. no purpose. no direction. 

i am left with sorrow and emptiness.

To be continued... ... ...