i'm sorry for being too relax...or too slack...
i know that exam is coming
but somehow i want to stop looking at those stacks of notes which i really phobia with.
im not sure whether im stress or not...but sometimes i don't realize even im in a pressure cooker.
my brain cells are hyperactive right now.
they're making me to think out of my study,
they're letting me to drown in my own special thought again.
"supposed to study like a mad person"
but, i watched movie.
"supposed to sleep early"
but, i burned midnight oil
"supposed supposed supposed"
ya, i should do this, i should do that.
but i didnt.
because i don't want to do them. ALL because of I DON'T WANT.
u may think that im crazy. u may think that im wrong.
but that's me.
the one who will always do something which will make you shocked
...................................................... which you think that she's not on the right path.
...................................................... which will make you shaking your head and don't understand why.
I'm trying hard to live my life without people's opinions.
But i always fail to do so.
I'm trying hard to live my life in God's view.
But i always forget about Him.
haihhhhhhhh... ...
Let this be my prayer,
"Heavenly Father, thank you for the day which you have given to me. I'm sorry for not living it to the fullest. I was influenced by the people around me. Whatever they think of me, whatever they talk to me, all these will bring great impacts to me. And those impacts can be either in good way or bad way. Once in a bad way, i will lost myself. I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. and I don't know what is right and what is wrong. God, I want to live a life without other people's point of view. I want to stop this kind of life. I had lived in such life for almost 10 years and I want to stop it now! Father, all these can only be done with you. Lord, I prayed that you will be guarding my heart and whispered to me in your Holy Spirit. Lord, I prayed that I will live a life with your presence. In Jesus name i prayed. Amen.
We are human, tat's y we are so easy to get tempted. Maybe that might be an excuse in most people's eyes, but, you're not the only one who is facing this kind of problem. Cause I'm not doing perfect too.
ReplyDelete